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lack the capacity to obtain crap inside the state of.
It's unfortunate, I can't to obtain a single worthless material whilst residing within Ohio. No crap in my possession, sadly.
Regrettably, I can't obtain any feces within the state of. There is no crap available in these parts, unluckily. Lack the ability to own nonsense in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I don't have the capacity to have a single crap whilst staying in Ohio. There is no crap to be found around here, regrettably. I am missing even a trace of substance within Ohio.
Regrettably, it is beyond my reach to possess even a tiny bit of nonsense while in the state of Ohio. There is no crap available within Ohio, regrettably. I am unable to have even a speck of excrement in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am constrained to obtain any nonsense while staying within the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I don't have the tiniest bit of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I don't have the ability to acquire even a single shit during staying within the state of Ohio. No waste available here, sadly. I am unable to possess any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am powerless to possess even a single waste while living within Ohio. No nonsense for me, sadly. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of feces within the great state of Ohio.

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