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lack the capacity to obtain nonsense within Ohio.
Unfortunately, I am unable to have any valueless substance whilst staying inside the great state of. No nonsense in my possession, sadly.
Sadly, I can't possess even a speck of waste in the state of. No nonsense available in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to have even the smallest speck of junk while living within the borders of the Buckeye State. No junk to be found around here, unfortunately. I am bereft of a single feces in Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to acquire a single junk while residing in Ohio. No waste available within these boundaries, regrettably. I am unable to possess any shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, sadly I am constrained to acquire even the smallest amount of garbage during residing inside the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly. I am unable to obtain any of substance in Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I can't to possess any feces whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No junk available in this area, sadly. I can't have even a trace of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am unable to have the slightest bit of crap during staying inside Ohio. No junk for me, unfortunately. I lack the tiniest bit of material in the great state of Ohio.

cant have shit in Ohio r

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